Harmony & Synergy

From My Life to Yours ~ Let's Build Some Bridges!

FAQ and Hair Covering Thoughts (Written)


  1. Beth Brewer

    I have a question for you….I am not Jewish and do not have a religious or philosophical reason to wear a head scarf, but I find them beautiful and love to wear them. Do you think those who wear them for religious would find it offensive for someone like me to wear them? Please be honest…I don’t want to make light of anyone’s beliefs or practices, but like I said, I love the beauty and modesty they create.

    • Beth, (and I think I speak for all the religious hair coverers out there) I would never be offended by others covering their hair as well! Quite the contrary, actually – I love it! Lots of people do it for different reasons, whether they have alocopea, or are losing hair from chemo, or are just doing it for fashion! Please continue doing it, and do it with tons of joy!

  2. Sarah

    Dear Andrea,
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience with us. I enjoy reading your blog. I feel close to you because my story is somewhat similar to yours. I grew up rather secular, I didn’t know much about Judaism besides the high holidays. I was lucky to meet a Jewish man who is now my husband. He is secular. His father passed away on our wedding day and this has deeply changed my way to see life and religion. I slowly tried to take on more mitsvot (kashrut, tzniut) but my husband is allergic to “too much” religion. I want to keep Shabbat but this is a big NO for him. I want to cover my hair, but he says that he would rather divorce me. He is deeply scared of “fanaticism”, as is all his family. I am sad of this, I feel guilty every Shabbat, and I feel ill-at-ease not to cover my hair in public. I am always tying my hair in a discreet bun and wear usually headbands, and I wear a winter hat most of the time outside, except in summer. What can I do? I would be very grateful to read some of your insights. Thank you.

  3. Bubbe

    Dear Sarah,
    As a grandmother (and a wife) I wanted to respond to your post, even though I’m not Andrea. (Funny, my sister has two daughters, Andrea and Sarah LOL, I feel close to you both already!) My heart goes out to you. I hope you will eventually see my post.
    I understand partially of what you are going through. Some people refuse to compromise on religious issues if they have had bad experiences in the past. Some people don’t even know why they are so adverse. My answer to you may sound overly simplistic, but I have seen big results every time. Pray. Pour out your heart to Hashem on why/how important it is to you to keep Shabbat and ask HIm to make a way. Keep praying for your husband heart to be softened, and keep being a good and loving wife. By doing mitzvos for your husband and others he will see Hashem’s love through you. Keep praying. Did I already say that? Ok, then. Keep praying. Develop a relationship with Hashem and keep praying and thanking Him for all his blessings. Don’t just take on the outward laws of Judaism. In time I believe you will see a change in your husband. Prayers do get answered.

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